Русское горе: алкоголь вместо семьи
основные заемщики капитала
*Ilya Varlamov* According to official figures, more than a quarter of Russian children live in poverty. Of large families, every second is below the poverty line. But it’s only about large families. Sometimes people cross the poverty line right after the birth of the first child. The problem of child poverty is especially acute in rural areas. Where half of the children are being brought up in poverty. We went to Kuvshinovo, a town in the Tver region. To show you exactly how it happens. -She has five children. She gave birth to three of them, they took them away. She gave birth to two more. -Well, I used to drink. -Does a father care about a child? -No, he doesn’t. He used to beat me. And started to raise his voice to children. -Social workers come to them and say: “Get a job”. But there is none. -How can I go to work in such state? -In what state? What is wrong with you? -I drank. -Why did you? -Because I wanted to! -My mother and my father died because of alcohol. -Did you problems with it before that? -Well, we used to drink a little. -The only one who can find the way out is you yourself. Pull yourself out like that. -I think when she will look at life sober, she will want to drink again. -We are in Kuvshinovo. We came to Kuvshinovo. What are we doing here? -The ”Constanta” fund. *Anastasia Kulpetova — an executive director of the ”Constanta” fund. We help families who find themselves in difficult situations. In crisis ones. Those families whose children end up in orphanage. We return children home from social institutions. We fight that children stay at the real families. There are almost 50 thousand social orphans in Russia. These are children who, for various reasons, were left without parental care. Usually parental rights are deprived due to alcoholism. Or a complete lack of livelihood. When families literally have nothing to eat. And live in dangerous conditions. -Actually, parents are in a financial crisis in the first place. They can’t feed their children. That is why they put them in orphanage. Only then, when parents have no support from people around them, or a social service, but, of course, there could be different situations. Every tenth child in Russia doesn’t eat properly. It means that they barely eat meat, chicken, and fish. -Our goal is to support families in a moment of such crisis, when financial difficulties prevail over upbringing. When they have to decide where to find food to feed their children. And that’s when we step in. We try to come to the rescue earlier. Because when you work… -So that we could catch them before they fall down. -Of course. We help with food, material goods, and so on. In all manners. So that they could make a living and bring up their children in future. The charity fund “Constanta” was created in Tver region in 2011. For over 9 years of cooperation with social protection authorities, it managed to help more than 3 thousand families, that found themselves in a difficult situation. -When, for example, children are being taken away because of parents’ alcohol abuse, right. By the way, what are the main reasons why children are being taken away? -Well, of course, alcohol. -Have you eaten today? -No. -Haven’t eaten at all? -Mummy didn’t feed you, did she? -But there are also household reasons. When there is no heating, windows, or electricity. A fire hazardous situation. It’s the main reason. -That is, if the living conditions are inappropriate or bad, they take away children? -Yes. They give some time to fix the situation, as far as it is possible to change anything. *Sergey — an employee of the “Constanta” fund. -Well, imagine you live in a house. You have no electricity, no job, you drink every day. *Mitya Aleshkovsky — the “Nuzhna Pomosh” fund* Social workers came to you and tell you to find a job and fix the house. -Yes, they say it exactly like that. And if you don’t in the next 6 months… -Well, at least they give 6 months. Not two weeks. -They give you a deadline in which you need to do everything. If you don’t, social services come to you, and tell you: “Maybe you will put your child in a children’s house yourself?”. In the beginning it’s not an orphanage but a children’s house. A family writes a waiver of a child and a statement on a placement. -In other words they do it voluntarily, they aren’t forced to do it? -Nowadays they offer to do it voluntarily on purpose. Because it’s a very long process to take away a child with force. And they do it forcefully only when there is a clear threat to a child. Alcohol. And then it’s clear that there will be a deprivation. If the situation in family doesn’t change, child services have a right to take kids away from their parents. And they can do it right away. If they think that there is a threat to a child’s life or health. This happened in Ludmila’s family. -Our heroine, Luda, there was a fire in her flat. Her child is 4 years old, at the moment he’s with a relative under temporary guardianship. The child’s destiny is not decided yet. He can either gets into a foster family, a replacing one. Or goes back to his mother. Yesterday she got a job. But today she already didn’t go there. Right now we offer her help in treatment. Whenever she is ready. Actually, she agreed to it, but she is still… -What is her condition right now? -An alcoholic one. -Well, let’s take a look. -Has there been a fire here? -On the 18th of February. -And you were here? -Yes. -And a child was here? -And a child was here. -What caused a fire? A cigarette? -Perhaps. -You smoke, right? -Yes, I smoke -And how did you smother the fire? -Neighbors. -And you? Were you sleeping? -My son woke me up. Don’t shoot me. -Can you please tell us… -My son woke me up, a small child. He is 4 years old. He woke me up, yes. Everything flared up here. They knocked on the neighbors, they opened the door. And everything here was in fire. -And you were drunk? -Well, yeah. A four year old woke his drunk mother up with difficulty. If it wasn’t for him, this fire would end as a tragedy. At the moment he is at his distant relative for some time. -Luda, he is just a little kid, and right now his destiny is being decided. He either stays in that family, or goes back here. -But he’s my boy. -But how can he live here, tell me? -But he’s my boy. -He’s well there. And here was a fire. -So what, he remembers everything. -Does he? -Yes. He tells me: “Mom, why didn’t you get up when I was trying to wake you up?”. -He remembers this tragedy? -This tragedy caused him a big psychological trauma? -I don’t know whether it’s a big trauma or not, but he remembers it and tells me that. Ludmila tries to visit her son once a week. But because of her drinking periods she fails to do it sometimes. -When was the last time you saw him? -Last week, on Saturday. What is the day today? -It’s Thursday. -Well, on Saturday. -Five days ago. -Yes. -And after that you went on a bender? -Well, yeah, I guess so. Ludmila is 42 years old. She is divorced. She didn’t work for a long time. And didn’t even try to find a job. After her child was taken away she didn’t find strength to change her life. -Do you work? -Well, yeah. -What is your position? -Up to this day. -You didn’t go to work today? -I didn’t go to work today. -And why? -I worked as a cook. I am actually a cook. -Why didn’t you go to work? -Well, because of this. I am in such a state. How can I go to work in such state? -In what state? What is wrong with you? -Because I drank. -Why did you? -Because I wanted to. -Do you want to stop? -I do. -Do you drink every day? -No, I don’t. -But how often do you drink? -There could be benders. Right now I have a bender, yes. -How many days have you been drinking? -Five days. -Five days in a row? -Yes. -Are you going to drink today? -No, it seems. -Why does it seem like it? You don’t want to, or what? -No, it seems it’s time to stop. -Are you planning to do something about it… -I am! I have a small child. Of course I want to, why not. -Here are people who want to help you. -Then help me please. -It is necessary that you do not drink at least ten days. -I can go through aversion therapy. *Aversion therapy — in narcology, an instillation of fear and aversion to alcohol, tobacco and drugs into the patient (the method has no scientific justification)* -Did you have a period when you weren’t drinking? -After the fire. -I did. It was a long period. When I weren’t drinking. Recently Ludmila found a new man. Perhaps he can influence her. -There was a bad situation. They put me in a hospital right now. And she decided to unwind like that. -Without you? -Yes. She can’t when I’m around, and without me… -Do you hold her back? -Yes. -You don’t drink at all? -It happens that I drink. But very rarely. -But in general I don’t. -I suffered a lot too. My mother and my father died because of alcohol. Therefore, I have bad associations with alcohol. Yes, and one time I received a triple alcohol poisoning myself. Doctors barely saved me. Therefore, they told me: “If you want to live, stop it”. -Stop drinking. And since when did you stop drinking? -Well… I am forty today. -Today? -Yes. -Happy birthday! -Thank you. -Are you going to celebrate? -Well, see, what a present I received. No jokes, I haven’t been drinking for a half of my life. -And where do you work? -Verkhnevolzhsky Tannery. -How much it pays? -The salary is from 35 to 45 thousand. -Well, it’s pretty fine. -It’s fine in our city. -Holy crap, you’re like a director! Ludmila has a chance to return her son. But in order to do it she has to not only undergo a course of treatment for alcoholism, but improve the living conditions in which they are going to live. -Can this family be saved? -Most likely that no. In this case, we need to work in a foster family. -In other words, we can only save the child? -Well, we’re not saving a family here, we’re going to save the child. Everything will depend on the mother. And on the family where the child is living right now. In this case child services didn’t put a child in an orphanage. The immediately found a substitute family. Therefore, the child is in a family right now, and not in a state-owned institute. But here the only way we can help the mother is with treatment. And then life will show. -And then we will see how she will behave. That is, she drinks, then she doesn’t, we need to work closely with them. -They don’t have a place to live, of course. This house needs to be repaired, they need help with it. And a child’s life can always be at threat. If she will, and we can never know, have a serious relationship with this man, than, technically, the child can be returned to this house if it complies with living standards. -As far as I understand, she expects that you will repair her house. -We claimed that. -Child services also said that they would help partly. There was a suggestion from the guardianship to insert her a plastic window. But a window can’t be a goal in itself. Return a child with a window? Therefore, we must go to the end or look for some options. Restoring parental rights is quite difficult. Not every family succeeds in it. Some can’t stop drinking. For others, a stumbling block is lack of money and terrible living conditions. -People find themselves in a crisis. Why do they find themselves in it? What is the feature of this state? -Lack of money. Because very large resources are needed to repair wiring and other things. -They don’t have money because they don’t work? -Lots of them don’t work because there is no work there. But many families live on benefits. They live on a child benefit. -How much is it? -8 thousand for one child. It’s on an average. -It’s for a large family? -Yes, for large families. -And if there is one child or two? -If two then there is like 500 rubles for one child. -Do they usually live on their parents’ and grandparents’ pension? -As poor they get 3-4 thousand. Once a year they get a benefit of 8,5 thousand rubles. They can get it from social protection as a poor family. Once a year. If a mother and a father were deprived of parental rights or even simply limited in their rights, they automatically lose all the subsidies and state benefits for children. -A person is a crisis. Social service comes to him and says: “Find a job”. But there is none. And they also understand that there is none of it. Why do they say that? What one should do? And they continue to take away children. -They have a monitoring schedule. And then, according to this schedule, they’ll come in a month to this family and tell them exactly the same words. They will write and draw up a protocol: “We arrived and drew up a paper about the conditions.” And nothing more will happen, that’s all. -A summer period is easier. Many earn extra money in the gardens of neighbors, summer residents, etc. The summer period for them is, of course, survival. Some go to forest, collect mushrooms and berries. It’s also seasonal. And sell them, yes. They survive in summer, of course. -That is, people live on free meals. -Yes, yes. From people who can hire them to dig and weed their gardens. It’s very difficult to find a formalized job. They don’t have a formal income. As a rule, they can’t find a formalized job. Without a job and adequate social support these people hit the rock bottom very fast. And it’s very difficult to get out. And for some people it’s impossible. The only people that can come to the rescue are employees from charity organizations like the “Constanta” fund. -We help with food, material goods and etc. In all manners. So that they can make a living and bring up their children in future. But, as a rule, a risk of fire — stoves, wires, heating — the main reason why children end up in an orphanage in the winter season. And a family has no money. A standard stove costs 100 thousand rubles, we’ll see it in a second. -Well, as a rule. -As a rule, a stove reparation or an installation of a new one will cost 100 thousand rubles. -We’ll be in this flat in a second, it has 3 stoves. You’ll see three giant stoves. One of them doesn’t work. There is a big “Russian” stove, and it doesn’t work. The second one also has problems. And the third one still maintains the temperature somehow. Right now our goal here is to take it to pieces and dismantle. And instead of them to make one normal stove with a cooker so that she could cook on it. -Wait a second. I have a question. Am I right that children’s destiny depends on a stove? -No, not really. -But in fact it does? -No, it’s only one of the factors. In the guardianship authorities Anastasia’s family has been listed as dysfunctional for quite a long time. And was on a routine account. The parents used to drink. Children didn’t have enough food. And no one looked after the youngest child. -In winter, a roof of one old lady’s shed collapsed. And she said that my son with his friends were there. He stood at a commission and said: “Mom, I didn’t do it”. And cried. One woman from the commission said that the fact that he cried meant that he was guilty. “You don’t look after your child”. -Which commission was that? -Commission on juvenile affairs. -It means that the old lady called the police? -She said that these boys did that. And they began to drag us to the commission. The trial began because of this shed. -That is, the child services of Kuvshinovo came out with a lawsuit. -Yes, they said that they restricted me in parental rights. -Anastasia, did the child services put you on notice because of the case with a shed? -No, it was a long time ago. — Or did you they come earlier? -It was before that, yes. They came to me, yes. -That is, they already put you on notice, and they knew it. -Yes, yes, I wasn’t sober. That is the reason why I already… -And how old is your child? -Thirteen. -And when did they take him away? -A year ago. -And what had been happening before that for twelve years? -I drank. Felt good. The child was with me. -And how did he feel? -I guess not well. -But he went to school. -Yes, he did. -And you looked after him? Checked his marks? -Yes. -And you raised him alone? -Yes. -What happened to his father? -We got divorced. -Does he care about his child? -No, he doesn’t. He used to beat me. And started to raise his voice to children. -Does he pay alimony? -No, he doesn’t pay anything. -And he doesn’t care that a child is somewhere? -He doesn’t. -And where is the child? -He is in Emmaus. -He was taken away from you? -I was restricted in parental rights. -Why? -We were good friends with alcohol. -But you don’t look like a drinking person at all. -Put myself together. Went to the social protection. Asked for help. Or otherwise I’ll lose my child. Only when her son was taken away did Anastasia realise that she couldn’t continue living like this. She got rid of alcoholism and completely changed her lifestyle. It was very hard. It took Anastasia a year to get her life together. -And for how long have you been getting out of this hole? -Oh, I don’t know how to say. My whole life I guess. From the moment I started living with a bad man. And just like that I was always alone. -When did you ask for help, how much time ago? -A year ago I guess. -A year. -Well, they offered help before that. But, because I had wine, I thought I could do everything on my own. And in the end, I stood in one place. Cried, drank. And I couldn’t do anything. -Did you go to “Constanta”? -Yes, I did. -That is, she went to Tver. -We are engaged in prevention measures. We have a specialist that was the only one who agreed to take our clients after the dependency clinic on a fee paid basis, consult them and assist in treatment. In addition, he looks after the patient’s health and prescribes some preventive medications. Of course, this stage is long, but if the patient makes progress, he can come again 2-3 times. We succeeded this time. Right? -Right away, yes. Without any problems. -That is, you don’t drink at all? -At all! -There is a therapist. He conducts consultations. -Doctor of Medical Science. It’s very serious. -Firstly, he consults with a client. Then he picks up some specific drugs, depending on the condition of the client. -And your partner? -He doesn’t drink, he works. -Doesn’t he drink? -No, he doesn’t. Well, sometimes at the weekend he can have one or two liquor glasses, and that’s all. -And you join him? -Not a gram, I don’t want to! -Where do you work? -In a factory. -That is, you want to say one can get out from the alcohol pit and this lack of money even with minuscule of products and minuscule possibilities? -Yes. -How hard is it? -Remember that a human being is changing being. While he breathes, he can change his life. But it is very difficult. -What is the percent of happy stories? -From 100% half of the families hold on for the first year. We control them with the additional help of the fund. With additional specialists from non-profit organizations. With monthly communication with them. But these are families that have motivation to return their children. Or save them. And only this motive holds them even more. -That is, further support is desirable, so that the person does not remain alone with himself. And feel like a part of society, and that it wasn’t just a one time help, and that’s it. -This is the key difference, it seems to me, between the approach of the state and the approach of the non-profit sector. Now Anastasia is going to restore her parental rights. This can only be done through court. But in order to return her son, one certificate of alcoholism treatment won’t be enough. -Right now we need to pay off the debts on alimony. Because if we will go to court, surely it will look at the dynamics of alimony. -And who owes alimony to whom? -Anastasia must pay alimony to her son. -As soon as a child is being taken away, even before the court, from this moment begins the countdown of alimony. -It means that you must pay the state? -Yes. I had an opportunity, I used to save 5 thousand. -How big is the debt now? -I don’t know. -You need to find out and start to pay it off. Because in the near future there will be a court. Child services will look at housing conditions. We are going to make you a stove and repair the heat input. And the court will watch the dynamics of alimony payments. -The prosecutor always looks at that, these are serious things. You need to provide the court with the evidence that a child is going to live in normal conditions. Right now they have three stoves, and only of them heats the flat. The second one is in disrepair. And the third one doesn’t work at all. But it’s not everything. We need to replace the window frame and wiring in the son’s room. The cost of such reparation will cost more than 130 thousand rubles. -Do you have a regular job now? -Yes. -What is your salary? -11,5 thousand rubles. -11,5 per month. -If it wasn’t for the “Constanta” fund that collected the money, then a single mother would have to save this money for years. -Is it your son in the photo? -Yes, my son. -Do you keep in touch somehow? -Yes, we talk every day. I already sent him five mobile phones there. -Have you recently been to Emmaus? -Yes, I went there on the first of April and on the first of May. -Do you visit him? -Yes, I do. -How does he feel? Does he miss you? -Yes, he does. We cry together. -Does he want to go back that much? -Yes, separation hurts. -Is his name Yura? -Yura. -Restoration of parental rights in respect of a child older than 10 years is possible only with his or her consent. But in Anastasia’s case it won’t be a problem as it seems. -We see a situation where a family is ready, a child is ready and a mother is ready. -We see motivation in them. -Yes, it’s clear that the conditions aren’t the best, but they are definitely better than in an orphanage or a children’s home. And right now it’s time to bring evidence. She needs to pay off alimony debts from her beggarly wage. It is necessary to go through all these circles to prove that this family has a right to exist. What is the role of the state here? -It has a controlling function. -At this point, from the point of view of the state, is the child better at the orphanage? -Moreover, if they return the child, it will be necessary to confirm the state somehow further. This family will be constantly monitored. There will always be a danger that they can take the child back. -Yes, if again some kind of relapse takes place. Because guardianship authorities will always come and control the place where the child is brought back. And if there is something wrong, and not much is needed for this. For example, if they came here, opened the fridge, and there was no food, or not enough supplies of it, it would mean that something was already wrong. And something else also looks bad and messy. -You see, from the point of view of the state.. -It’s vigilant. -It’s not help. -It’s control. -Yes, right! Elena’s family is being closely monitored by child services. But, unlike Anastasia, they don’t take any actions to return children to the family. -How many children do you have? -Two. -And in total? -Five. -Where are the other three? -They were taken away. -Taken away. Can you tell us why? -Well, I used to drink. I was young and drank. -And those who were taken away, how old are they now? -The eldest is 11, twins are 9. -That is 11, 9, 9. And when were they taken away? -In 2014. -Do you keep in touch with them? -No. -Why? -I don’t know where they are. -Aren’t you interested? -Of course I am. -Are you trying to get them back? -Of course I would like to get them back but I can’t. -But they are somewhere, you could come visit them, or call them. -Not yet. -I think if you turn to the child services, they will tell you where they are, even if they are in an adoptive family. -They are in an adoptive family. -They will tell you the address. -They already did. -Now it’s only your move. -Where will I go with two kids? -Well, we’re not judging you, we’re just saying. -And how old are your kids now? -4 and 3. -Ok. -No one is drinking here at the moment, right? At least I don’t see it. I don’t know what could be there. You’re hiding something. But the risk of taking away is always present. The risk of fire in the house, for example. Moreover, child services know the history. It’s easier to handle this in a family where everything was fine. And here the experience of removing children is already present. You were deprived of parental rights in court, right? -And why? -I have already told you. -Alcohol, right? And how did you handle it? -Quite well. I just stopped drinking, that’s all. -Yourself? -Yes. -Parents with limited rights can no longer raise their children. But they can still see them and keep in touch with them. But, apparently, Elena is not interested in it. -They are in an adoptive family. -Yes, yes. -But you don’t keep in touch? -Are you planning to? -Yes, I should. I need to call child services. -They will grow up and then may be won’t want to contact you. -Perhaps. -It’s one kilometer on foot from here to the child services. -They were at my sister’s. She said they took them away from her. I don’t know about my brother. They said that he wrote a letter of waiver. They were taken away to a children’s home in another town. I called them, and the eldest one told me: “Mom, still come even if you can’t return us”. -Are they trying to take these ones away? -No. -But child services understand that… -They did address you, didn’t they? -Well, yes, they did. -It worries about this family. -If you look at the application from guardianship, then it says: «There is a risk of the taking away of children.» That’s all. -Do you know that the guardianship thinks there is a risk? -They have never told me. -They are already saying it to the fund. -The issue is not only that the family is poor. And the fund will help with that. The issue is not that but the risk of the taking away of children. -The fund works directly with the guardianship. We have already said that we can’t do it without a guarantor. They take children away, and they decide whether to do it or not. To take them away or not. Keep an eye on a family or not. And we are here, on standby. Here, in Tver region, we are perhaps the only social fund that engages with orphans .
основной капитал фирмы это
and works closely with the state. Directly at the petition of it. And this work algorithm is efficient, because there are resources that the state doesn’t have. -The have a right to take away. And you collect money, so that it doesn’t happen. -They have resources to keep an eye on someone, take away children and control everyone. -Legally, psychologically, but first of all financially. Because, as a rule, social services don’t have their own money. -Mitya is angry. -Yes, I am angry because she has five children. Three of them were taken away, and she gave birth to two more. -Have you noticed how she doesn’t even care? Well, they are somewhere, she doesn’t even know where. -Her first phrase about them: “I don’t know where they are”. -Yes. “I worry about them and so on, but I couldn’t find their address, call them or write them for 5 years”. -Although the guardianship is… -The guardianship is in one kilometer from her house, if you go straight through yards. And you don’t need to call anyone. -In other words, she has every opportunity to keep in touch with them, but no desire to do it. -Naturally. -I’m trying to understand how it happens that they have 4-5 children. Why does it happen? -I think that she’s not going to stop. -She is 35! -I think she will just fine bear three more. -Three are unlikely, but two are possible. -We always hear about spirituality, big family, etc. But in reality, on the planet Earth, it turns out that she bears them, and they are being taken away from her. What’s interesting, I understood that she bought that house on the maternal capital from those three children. -Yes, they take away the maternal capital with the children. That is, there is no maternal capital. It’s most likely already the maternal capital of her new children. -If children were returned, then you need to additionally go court and demand to restore the maternal capital. -There is also a new law from the last year. For each child under 1.5 years of age, poor families are given 10 thousand rubles a month. 10 thousand rubles for them is a good opportunity. Therefore, they are ready to bear children every year and a half to get this money. For large families, the more children you have, the more money the state pays you. And you can survive on it, and just live on it, not for the children, but more for yourself. Here, children have a mother, a family, care. Moreover, they are small and they already have some kind of affection. If children in such age will go to a children’s house, then most likely their life will be the same. And there is no guarantee that they will end up in a family. Child poverty creates a poverty trap. As a rule, children in poor families can’t get a decent education. Which means that the majority of them is doomed to have a low-paid job. And, as a result, when they get old, they’ll have a minimal pension. Their kids and grandkids will have the same life. Besides, the level of poverty will only grow from one generation to another. -Here, these people are simply not needed. They have no other choice. The only one who can find the way out of here is the one who can do it himself. And this requires a lot of strength. -But they don’t understand it themselves, of course. They have long come to terms with their situation. And I’m sure she thinks that everything is fine. She doesn’t really understand why we came to her. She looked confused when we asked her about the guardianship. She didn’t understand what was wrong. -”The guardianship didn’t tell me that it wanted to take away my children. It didn’t threaten me”. I guess sometimes it comes and does. Anh here it just looks at how they are doing. -She just doesn’t understand… -She has no idea. She is now in her completely stable condition. She doesn’t understand that something is off. -I think we left and caused a protest. -Yes. -Why did they come? What did they want? -We were in different families. And there are some where everything is completely messed up. You just need to clean everything, help with cooking and feed the children. Here I see that she actually cleans her house. I mean it’s clear that she needs to collect all the toys, and ideally throw they away. But she still has some reserves. -Here is the story. Three children were taken away and moved to Torzhok. There they have a regional centre for helping children. It’s not a children’s house. Children are put there temporarily. And they were taken there. Because their parents were caught with alcohol. -Were caught with abusing. -I went to a sauna. Quiet, quiet. I went to a sauna. And I guess the heart couldn’t take it. And it’s two months without them… I worked for two months daily. The heart could not handle it. They came and took me away. -And an ambulance told the child services, right? -Yes. -And did you have problems with alcohol before? -Well, yeah, we used to drink, I won’t deny it. -Tell me who doesn’t drink nowadays? -I don’t drink. -We used to drink, and were caught with it. We needed to return our children, and we went through aversion therapy. -And grandma drinks, doesn’t she? -It’s useless, she can’t change. -Grandma loves alcohol, doesn’t she? -Yes. -How much does she drink? -Every day. -I drink. I don’t deny it. And my daughter drinks. -Drank? In past tense. -She drinks! -Have you seen me drinking? I have all the papers. -Yes! You’re still living in my house! -Quiet, quiet. -Your house? -This house was actually bought on maternal capital. -It’s her .
основной капитал населения
delirium tremens. -I see. Besides alcohol abuse, the guardianship revealed another serious problem in the house. Wiring was in a critical condition. The parents fixed everything they could. But they simply had no money to replace the electrics. Then the “Constanta” fund came to the rescue. -We made repairs on our own. Evgeny Nikolaevich helped us with the wiring. -With the wiring. We went to see the doctor. -He did everything he could. -There are guardianship inspection visits, they look after everything, for example, wiring, and wait. And they don’t return kids until it’s done. -Where were the kids? -In a regional centre for helping children. Parents tried to visit kids regularly. But they still started to become estranged from their parents. Without them nine-month old Sasha made her first steps. -Any extraction of children leads to deprivation. *Maternal deprivation is a process of emotional and psychological impoverishment of a child due to separation from the mother at an early age* -Because I witnessed how when parents were absent for 5 months and then came, social workers noticed how reluctant were children to meet their parents. If we look at this psychologically, then when children are 8-9 months old they have a fear of an unknown face. -It’s terrible! -And they were taken away by unknown carers. -It’s a torture for a child. Terrible torment. After Alexei quit drinking, he finally found a fringe earning. -How much do you earn? -Around 15 thousand rubles. -What are you living on now? How much money do you have for the whole family for a month? -About 30 thousand. -Is it enough? -No, it’s not. Who has enough? That’s not enough. -Not enough for what? -Repairs. -Here, look, we’re having a renovation here, now I’m busy with this wall. -Sheathe, insulate the house, it was cold. -I’m insulating the wall. I have already insulated the porch, it’s warm now. We need to cover the roof in the porch. It all costs money. -What do you eat? -What can we eat? -Spaghetti, potatoes. -Meat? -And meat. -Do kids have fruits, vegetables, chocolate? -Yes, they do. The interior in the house is rather poor. But Alexei and Anastasia are trying to keep it clean and tidy. Their vegetable garden provides for them. Recently they managed to buy an old car. A Moskvich 2141. Now the main thing for Alexei and Anastasia is to preserve that what they worked hard to restore. And do not repeat the mistakes of the past. -It’s bad for us that grandma came to visit, and that children saw it all. -Can I speak to you more? -I’m pregnant. -Mom, stop it! -You are what? -Well, no, she is pregnant with tremens. We help families in general. There were stories when we helped a grandmother, a grandfather and both parents with alcohol. Here, we’re going to work with grandma. -Can you help a person in such state? -I don’t know. Well, if she lasts at least 5 days without alcohol, then we can try to work with her. -I think that if she looks at life in a sober state, she will want to drink again. -I’m ending this journey in mixed feelings. Firstly, we saw completely different stories. What a person who saw all these stories and felt something should do? -The most important is to find someone in your region who helps people like that. And support this organization. We’ll leave the links where you can donate regularly to organizations that we talked about. “Costanta”, “Foodbank Rus”, and “Caritas”. But you need to understand that it’s not all of them. And there should be more organizations like that, way more. And the more we support such organizations, the better. An important thought that I would like to repeat. A charity fund is no wallet. A charity fund is scope. First of all, it’s experience, it’s knowledge, these are people who can do things. You donate 1, 2 or 100 rubles to them. And they convert this money to help people. To care, to tendance, to love. To professional skills. To support these people in treatment, etc. It’s a scope of competence. And this is exactly what we need to support and help with in such funds. -The only thing is that you need to be careful because there are a lot of frauds -You can easily enter the website nuzhnapomosh.ru. I think we have already 189. -Checked ones, right? -Yes, verified funds from all over the country. Choose any fund you want. Not one of them is a fraud. -I think that after this video, there are slightly fewer indifferent people among my viewers. If you give it some thought and start helping someone. With money, or go there as a volunteer. Or just think about what is happening in our country. And realize that we need to change it. Then it all wasn’t in vain. Then Mitya and I travelled through Russia for three days not for nothing. And we will definitely do it again. Don’t forget to give this video a thumbs-up, and subscribe to the channel if you haven’t already. And write in comments what do think about it. And whether this topic is interesting for you or not. And whether we should expand on this topic and shoot more. Bye everyone! -Bye. *Ludmila that survived a fire still lives with her partner. Her condition has not improved.* *Yura, Anastasia’s son came back home. The family gets on track.* *After our arrival Elena found the contacts of her children and began to communicate with them.* *In December, children were again taken from Alexei and his wife. The “Constanta” fund has been working with the family all this time. There will be a trial.* .